Disha Murugupandiyan - Week #13: The Mystery of Dreams
Every day, when I wake up in the morning, a majority of the time, I don’t remember whether I had a dream that night. Yet, a feeling lingers. Something happened. Something happened, but for the life of me, I just can’t remember. By the time I’m out of bed and done brushing my teeth, that feeling is gone. We can’t really describe it in any way, but I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. Or at least I hope so, so I don’t sound crazy.
When I wake up, if I do remember any part of my dream, I often try to take the pieces and attempt to piece them together. Why was I there, at that location, with this person? It just doesn’t make sense. I usually end up reconstructing it in a way that I think makes sense, but is probably far off from the original. Let’s be honest, some of my dreams are the weirdest situations ever. Every time I go back to try to take those original pieces and fit them into a new puzzle, those pieces have already changed. I don’t remember the “original” memory.
Sometimes, there are people involved I genuinely haven’t seen in years. That friend from elementary school who I saw for the last time in 3rd grade will pop up, looking so different yet the same. And I never actually clearly saw their face during the dream. It’s like “dream me” is always looking at the floor, never wanting to look up and face reality. Or my fake reality.
Have any of you guys ever woken up crying? I can only remember it ever happening once or twice, but again, it was just so odd. Something would happen in my dream, I’d start crying in there, and then I’d wake up. My eyes would be full of tears, and as I blink, a couple would slowly fall. A much more common occurrence for me is to wake up from a dream in which an animal was involved. Whether it was a snake, a dog, or a lizard, I’d wake up feeling it charging at me. I’d feel it in my blanket, but of course, it was never there in the first place.
There’s even instances, although I don’t know if they fall into the category of dreams, where while I’m living a moment, I feel as if I’ve already lived it before. Everything is in the same place, that person who just walked through the door or that action I just made, they’ve all happened before, somewhere. Where? I could never tell you. It’s not like I’ve ever dreamed about this particular situation. But it’s still as if I’ve already lived it, already gone through all of the motions. Something about it is just so…odd.
As I write this, I honestly feel slightly crazy. So, is it all just me?
It is definitely not all just you, Disha: as I was reading through your blog, I found myself relating to almost everything you described, from lingering feelings, to waking up because of dreams, to deja vu moments with absolutely no recollection of where exactly those moments could have originated from. In your blog, you wonder why certain dreams happen specifically with certain people at certain times in certain settings: it’s usually because we felt a feeling that was closely related to the people we dream about afterwards that night, and because it’s the brain’s mechanism of dealing with those emotions (since most dreams are constructed out of the emotions swirling around in our brains around that time). Using your own example as…an example, you may have been dreaming about your third-grade friend because you were missing something about that time period, and for high school students like us that’s usually the stress-free environment we experienced in elementary school that we miss (I’m no trained psychologist though: take this with about as much credibility as you would a website that claims to tell you what your dreams represent that you found on Google page 4:). In your writing, I really enjoy the continuation of your deeply reflective blogs, as they help me reflect on all the things that I’ve also experienced that you mention in this blog and render your blog all the more interesting. Your highly relatable tone definitely contributes to this, and your use of repetition scattered throughout the blog also helps you emphasize certain parts of your message, which makes its delivery even more effective. Thank you for an amazing piece!
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