Jaycee Snelson Week 12: Dinner Thoughts

 Jaycee Snelson Week 12: Dinner Thoughts

Last week I attended a dinner/yearly meeting for the 100 club with my dad. Because my dad works for the city he tends to go to these types of events a lot. I enjoy going to these events with him as much as I can because it's an excuse to dress up more formally than the great walls of American High School allow and I find it really interesting to listen to other active members of the community. 

Most of the time, at these events, I tend to be a fly on the wall, just trying to keep up with the “adult” conversations going on around me, while my dad is making small talk and introducing me to everyone. However, this time we were at an event where me and my dad were on slightly more even playing fields. Instead of my dad knowing half the room, as he often seems to do, he only knew a handful of people and seemed to be trying to navigate through this dinner just like me. 

As the night goes on, we end up finding an empty spot at this table and we sit down to enjoy appetizers of salad and bread. My dad, starting to talk to one of the few people he knows, turns away from the table as I butter up a piece of bread. Just as I am going to take a bite this group of strangers ask if the seats are free. I tell them they are and they come over to shake my hand and introduce themselves. I WAS SHOCKED. This never happens. Usually I wait politely for an introduction from my dad, as many people at events like these don't seem like the type of people who want to talk to a “little girl.” Hiding my shock I get through the whole “nice to meet you, I’m Jaycee” as we all sit back down to eat. 


This anomaly wasn't the last one for the night. As we worked our way through the courses the group continued to hold a conversation with me asking about college and giving life advice and I found out that they were all a part of the Castro valley rotary club and had just become members of the 100 club after hearing a speech at an event. As if actually holding a conversation with me wasn’t enough they even personally invited me, ME, to one of the upcoming events that the rotary club was hosting and even gave me the club's business card. This whole interaction made my night and got me thinking about the power that acknowledgement can have. To them our conversation may have been just like any other, but to me it was proof that I was an independent person and gave me the confidence to make connections with as many people as I could. Because if I can talk to a group of esteemed people of the community then I can talk to anyone. 

Comments

  1. Acintya ShenoyFebruary 27, 2026 at 11:12 AM

    I can heavily relate to the feeling of being a “fly on the wall” at large events—for me, it’s whenever there’s an event hosted by the Konkani Association of California (KAOCA). Although I know a fair share of people there, it’s usually my parents talking to other people while I sit awkwardly in a corner and eat. I do have some friends there, but they don’t always show up, so I’m stuck listening to all the aunties and uncles converse about the most boring stuff ever. The only time this pattern really shifts is if I do a dance performance during these events, after which everyone will be coming up to me during dinner and congratulating and complimenting me. Even then, I feel a strange sense of alienation, as if they’re just making shallow small talk and then leaving. I sometimes get discouraged by it, thinking I have no social skills, but I do interact much better when I’m hanging out with friends my age, so I guess it’s just a generational thing. We’ll see how it turns out when I’m as old as my aunties are right now. 😅

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  2. Atharv DuaFebruary 28, 2026 at 1:32 AM

    Wow Jaycee, I have to say, I never really thought about power that way, and I think this is an amazing reflection on powers that others hold over us socially, either because society gives it to them or because we perceive them as having it. It’s definitely scary to talk to adults in social situations where it might not be “our place” to do so: them acknowledging us through a 2 minute conversation can help us—as high school students—feel heard and valued. I believe that the events that you talked about also prepare us for future networking events in life, where we’ll be forced to talk to other people in the same field, many of which will be older and more experienced than us (usually you may even ask them for a job, but with the current state of the job market I would not be holding my breath). On your writing, I really love your relatable and funny tone, as it draws me in and makes your blog more interesting to read, which you achieve in part thanks to expert use of verbal irony sprinkled throughout the blog, which again puts more humor in your blog. Thank you for a great piece!

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  3. Disha MurugupandiyanFebruary 28, 2026 at 3:17 PM

    When you mention how you feel about being a "fly on the wall," I can absolutely relate. Sometimes, my parents will go to these gatherings with family friends that I have never met, and they'll be talking to their friends while I sit there, staring at the wall or pretending to listen to their conversation. Occasionally, they'll ask me some question, but it'll all be the same ones: What grade are you in? What do you want to study in college? What college do you want to go to? Add all of that on top of being in a loud, crowded room with all of these different people I don't know, and there's nothing more I would want than to leave. When you talk about the acknowledgement that you get when someone approaches you and you're not introduced to them by your parents, I understand that feeling. It's as if they want to know me for real and that they actually want to, not out of small talk just because I was introduced to them. Personally, once a conversation is started up with a person who is just talking to me, I find it easier to continue carrying that conversation than if it was a conversation with strangers in a group. It used to be hard for me to carry these types of conversations with people that I just met for the first time, but I definitely have gotten better at that. I'm glad that you had this experience, as it is always nice to improve your personal confidence.

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